By: Eric Recker
I froze. Where were those thoughts coming from and why were they in MY head? It was the end of yet another chaotic day in my practice. A day of all alone at the top as my team of eighteen left the office to go about their normal lives outside of the clinic and barely give the office a second thought until Monday.
Not me. This was when it all hit. The end of the day. I had been running on adrenaline all day treating patients, being a psychologist, putting out fires, fixing IT glitches, sending referrals, communicating with the lab, navigating cases, working on treatment plans, dealing with the overload from a sick hygienist, experiencing chest pain and heart palpitations. Fortunately no tension headaches or panic attacks on this day!
The End of the Day
The end of the day was the time that I could sit in my chair in my office and breathe. I could finally let my guard down and take off a few of the many hats I wore every day. Many days I wouldn’t get more than a few minutes for lunch and even the days I got lunch it was usually to try to get back above water for the afternoon.
Would it even matter if I wasn’t here?
When the Thoughts Appear
Have you ever had that thought? Have you ever wondered if it might just be better to not be alive? Have you ever gotten so far gone that these thoughts dominated your life?
I wasn’t expecting it. Sure I had struggled and many days dreaded going into my practice, especially Mondays. Oh the Sunday to Monday transition. The lack of sleep. The spinning head on Sunday. Being checked out with my family as the week approached.
I didn’t know it was this bad.
The Story Behind the Surface
As I have discussed with many great dentists with practices that appear to be amazing and lives that show the world they are killing it, the cover story isn’t always the same as the rest of the story. It’s sneaky. It builds up. When we don’t address it, it can crush us. It can literally cause us to consider ending our lives.
To the world, I was killing it. Working four days a week. Traveling. A pool in the backyard. Competing in triathlons. Obviously his life is great, right?
His life wasn’t great and he was slowly dying.
You Are Not Alone
So how about you? Have you had that thought or something similar? Are you teetering on the edge? Is it all just too much?
My friend—you are NOT alone. There is hope, but you may not be able to do it alone.
Raising Your Hand
I was on a crash course to becoming a statistic. Once I heard those words, that was the wakeup call I needed. The next day I told a close friend over lunch. I raised my hand and didn’t allow that question to stay in the dark. We talked about it openly. He told me that he had some rather dark times in his life as well. He kept me accountable and checked in with me.
It all started with raising my hand and admitting I was struggling.
Is It Time to Raise Your Hand?
How about you? Is it time to raise your hand? I am available to talk about it. I have helped dentists who were asking this question. You can raise your hand to:
- A trusted friend
- A coach
- A therapist
- A pastor
- A spouse
Don’t fight this battle in the dark. There is a lot at stake. You are at stake, and you are amazing, and the world needs YOU to be around. There is no substitute for your unique awesomeness. Raise your hand. Tell someone about it. Healing is possible!
The Journey Continues
For me, I raised my hand and now I am doing what I truly love—I still see patients, but I also help people on their journeys because the best journey is one that keeps going. Along the way I also discovered that I like flying planes and climbing mountains. Have you discovered what you truly like? It may be closer than you think!
I believe in you. I know I am not the only one!
