Help! My Dental Assistant Always Questions Me in Front of My Patients

By: Ronda Holman

As a dentist, maintaining confidence and authority in front of your patients is essential. But what happens when your dental assistant questions you during an appointment sometimes in a way that undermines your expertise?

While it’s great to have a team that thinks critically, in-chair debates can create discomfort for both you and your patient.

If you’re experiencing this challenge, here’s a strategy to prevent it from happening in the future.

1. Address It Privately and Professionally

Schedule a one-on-one meeting with your assistant outside of patient hours. Express your appreciation for their engagement while explaining that in-the-moment questioning can impact patient trust. Make it clear that their input is valuable, but there’s a time and place for discussions.

Try saying:

“I really value your knowledge and input, and I want us to work together as a strong team. However, when treatment decisions are questioned in front of patients, it can create confusion. Let’s find a way to communicate our thoughts in a more productive setting.”

2. Create a Safe Space for Discussion

Often, assistants speak up because they’re unsure about a treatment plan or have had different training. Encourage them to bring questions to a daily or weekly team huddle where everyone can openly discuss concerns and clarify protocols before patient care begins.

You might say:

“If you ever have a question about why I’m doing something, let’s talk about it during our morning huddle. That way, we can make sure we’re aligned before we’re with a patient.”

3. Set Clear Expectations for Chairside Communication

Define how you and your assistant should communicate during procedures. If they need clarification, establish a code phrase like “Let’s discuss this after the procedure or I’ll review this together later.” This allows for professional communication without undermining confidence in front of the patient.

For example, if your assistant has concerns mid-treatment, they can discreetly ask,

“Would you like to review this case after the appointment?” instead of questioning your approach in real-time.

4. Lead with Collaboration, Not Criticism

If your assistant continues to question you during appointments, reinforce your expectations with kindness. Instead of reacting defensively in the moment, address the behavior later with curiosity:

“I noticed you asked about my treatment plan during the last few appointments. Is there something we need to clarify together?”

This opens the door for constructive conversation while reaffirming that discussions should happen outside of patient interactions.

A Unified Front in Patient Care

By creating a structured way for your assistant to ask questions, you’ll foster a stronger, more respectful working relationship. Patients will see a confident, cohesive team, which boosts their trust in your care. And your assistant will feel heard and valued” without the need to challenge you in the moment.

With a little guidance and the right systems in place, you can turn a frustrating habit into an opportunity for better teamwork and communication.

Keep Reading: Help Your Dental Assistant Understand Raises Are About Contribution – Not Just Time Served

Photo by Leeloo The First

Ronda Holman

Ronda Holman

Ronda Holman found her passion for dental assisting while in the Air Force. She assisted in oral surgery, general dentistry, and ended her four-year service as a prophy tech, the military’s version of a dental hygienist. She married and spent 13 years traveling the country while her husband served in the Air Force. Each time Ronda relocated she got the opportunity to work in a new dental office, where she picked up pearls that have helped her become an expert in educating dental assistants. Her interests are immediate denture/partial fabrication, CEREC technology, patient education, and striving for optimal chairside skills. Ronda believes that every dental assistant has the potential to be a rock star assistant if given the right tools and guidance.