By: Dr. Eric Recker
This past weekend, I got sick. I will spare you the details, but let’s just say that sometimes you go to sleep at night with a high level of confidence that your stomach contents will be leaving before morning. That was my Saturday night.
Sunday was followed by serious chills until about five o’clock when the fever broke. I had become one with my couch for the day. I told my wife, who had been an amazing caretaker all day, that the thought of sitting up simply required too much energy.
The Infamous “Man Cold”
I think it is true — guys are the WORST when it comes to being sick. I have never denied this. There is a reason that the worst ailment ever known to humankind is the infamous man cold.
This was much worse than that, but I was a bundle of feeling-sorry-for-myself uselessness.
The Thought That Hit Me
The thought hit me mid-afternoon: I should probably stay home from work tomorrow.
This is an extremely uncommon feeling for me, as I have missed two days of work in 23 years, and both of those days, I was in the hospital with E. Coli in 2006 and nearly lost my entire colon. I needed that to sink in a little bit.
I haven’t missed a day of work in almost two decades.
Why I Always Power Through
Simply put, I power through. I think there are several factors at play:
- I know that if I stay home, I will pay for it later with schedule crunches and reschedules
- I ask myself — even though it will suck, am I really that bad that I need to stay home?
- I don’t want to overload my team
- I always get to the end of the day and realize I can do hard things and am proud of myself
The Question I Had to Ask Myself
Yesterday, as I lay on the couch, I asked myself, Why are you so hard on yourself?
Every person on my team would have taken today off. They would have been kind to themselves. They would have realized their limitations and rested up so they could be better the next day.
Recently, my coach asked me why I am so hard on myself. It’s a valid question and one that has caused me to be very introspective.
Questions to Ask Yourself
I would encourage you to ask some of the same questions I have been asking:
- Do you expect things of yourself that you wouldn’t expect of another?
- Do you allow yourself time to rest and recharge your battery?
- What in your past has made you think you need to push so hard all the time?
- How can you be kinder to your most important asset — you?
The Reality of Pushing Too Hard
I should have stayed home from work. I normally make it a rule to not “should” on myself, but the reality is that I am hanging by a thread.
I will still perform great dentistry for my patients and I will make it to the end of the day, but at what cost? I will likely be trying to play catch up all week.
Maybe it’s time to stop wearing my “2 days in 23 years” as a badge of honor.
A Challenge for You
How about you? How can you be more kind to yourself this week?
As dentists, we expect perfection out of ourselves. We are always switched on — at home and in the office. We don’t give ourselves breaks. We don’t typically take good care of ourselves.
We can either choose into that rest, or our body will take it, often at a time that is crazy inconvenient for us.
Final Reflection
Let me ask one more time: How can you be more kind to yourself this week? Share your answer with someone else. If you say it out loud, it is much more likely to happen.
